Like Water and Fire
by GSfailure
Summary: This story shows how random minds can really be. Rating is for cussing and yaoi. The story has many different genres, so don't be surprised when the first chapter is nothing like the last one!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: yep, you guessed it, I own NOTHING!! Except for the character Kabura (he comes in later chappies)  
  
Notes: I refuse to continue this unless someone gives me a review!If you send me anything, ANYTHING, I'll try to continue.  
  
Warning: There will be some mild yaoi in later chapters.  
  
One final thing:this story is about Marth, but will include Roy,Link, and Zelda (as well as pretty much everyone except the pokemon) so thats why I put it in the Smash Brothers Section  
  
If you are still going to read, then enjoy!

* * *

Marth gazed at the map that Maric had given him. Through many hardships, he had attempted to win Altea back from Medius. However, when he returned from battle, almost dead and with only a few men left from his mighty army, he discovered that some old men with mastery over the elements had taken over his kingdom in his absence. Their leader, Maric, had told Marth that if he agreed to find a man with the ability to make "Flames leap from nowhere to greet him" and bring him back then these so called "mages" would give him back Altea.  
  
While it sounded farfetched, what choice did he have? His kingdom would fall apart without his fair rule, and he'd gone too far to just give up now.  
  
Marth sighed wearily as he trudged through the snow and mud.'Why is it so cold?' he thought. He glanced up and saw the kingdoms' gates.  
  
'Whew, I thought that I would never make it!' he thought. Then he noticed something very strange.  
  
The symbol was different.  
  
Marth stared at the three triangle symbol, a confused look on his face.  
  
He approached the main gate and spotted a guard. He ran towards the guard, confident in his communication abilities. But the guard was very unusual. He had pointy ears, wore a green tunic, and was wearing the most freakiest green hat over his blonde head.

* * *

Links' POV

* * *

I awoke very slowly. Or, was it quickly? Either way I got up and saw some freak lookin' at me. Wait...Uh-oh.  
  
"HEY!!" screamed Navi, my fairy that I hate. She flew over to the guy and started blinking yellow and blue.  
  
"I can't tell if he's bad or not!" yelled Navi.  
  
I sighed and walked over to him. He was freaking out at the sight of my personal pest. Suddenly, he unsheathed his sword which, to my disgust, was very fine. Before I could stop him, he yelled something in some wierd language and drove his sword straight through Navi.  
  
"HEY!!" I yelled,"It may be a pest, but I need that reliable freak to tell me the weakness of my enemies!"

* * *

Marth glanced at, what he assumed was an elf, and called him "Baka" in elvish. The elf, however, did not seem to understand him. Elf-boy pointed at Marths' sword and said a string of very strange words. Marth guessed that holding his sword in his fighting stance did look menacing, so he sheathed Falchion.  
  
"My name is Prince Marth Lowell. I came from Altea and don't know where I am. Could I speak to your Leader?" When the elf didn't respond, he realiazed that this wasn't an elf. He instead tried the common Hylian language.  
  
The man nodded and said,"The names Link. If ya want to see Zellie, then follow me!"

* * *

"Hmm." Roy wondered if he should leave Pharae now or not. Recently he'd recieved a message from an Altean that demanded him to leave his hometown. uncertain of what to do, he walked towards the castle. Perhaps the royal advisor would know what to do.  
  
As he walked down a corridor, a flickering light caught his attention. Wondering what it was, he approached the room that the dancing light came from. When he opened the door to this strange room, his eyes widened in an instant. Candles were forbidden in the castle, and there was only one reason.  
  
Roy was a pyromaniac.  
  
Screaming with delight, Roy lunged at the candle and started hugging it. Of course, since it was hot wax, he soon screamed in pain and threw the candle away from his body. The candle flew into a curtain and, due to how dry the summer had been, burst into flame.  
  
"Uh-oh," Roy fled from the room, and ran from the castle.  
  
Turning to face his homeland one last time, he sighed and realized that he could never return, as now they'd all think of him as an uncontrollable burden.

* * *

I figured I'd examine my older chapters and edit them while I can't upload new chappies or make new stories. What fun, I didn't realize how dorky and bad my writing was before .


	2. wow, i shall keep writing after all

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM or Fire Emblem or anything in this story.  
  
Notes: wow. I can't believe that the only person who says that this is confusing is xan-vallen. I mean no offense guys, but please don't be polite and review again! matty is a fan of roy, glad you like it! Foxey, don't worry, I won't let you down. cristi carlson fernandez (i think) don't be discouraged. Always write for the pleasure, even if you think no one likes it, you have 10 reviews! Be proud! Yes, yu-gi-oh is cool, and i'll probably make an enemy be Bakura. Anyway, this chapter is just plain wierd, so prepare to be utterly confused!Enjoy

* * *

"Marth? HEY MARTH! HYRULE TO MARTH!!!!" 

"Huh, oh, sorry, Link, i was just thinking..." Marth grumbled to the disgruntled elf.

"YEAH! WELL, I guess that's okay, but, Zellie wants to talk to you!" Link practically screamed.

"Who?" said Marth, slightly confused. He had come to see the ruler of this strange land, not 'Zellie'.

"Oh, I forgot. I'm speaking to a freak. Princess Zelda will speak to you now" Link said, while desperately hoping that Zelda wouldn't get a crush on this foreigner and forget about him, The Hero of Time!

* * *

(A.N: Look, Zelda's going to be a complete retard. Watch out) 

"Wow, like, who are you?" sang out Zelda, batting her eyelashes at Marth and being a total flirt.

"I, uh, my n-name i-is M-marth" stuttered Marth, blushing.

"Wow, like, what a funny name! Hehehehehehehehehehe!" Zelda giggled in the most fake sounding tone while trying to make him fall for her.

"Um, you wouldn't know where, um, Pharae Principality would be, would you?" Marth mumbled, finally gaining his wits and decided that she was probably trouble, anyway.

"P-pharae? You don't want to go there! Its, like, dangerous there!" She shrieked.

"Dangerous? How so?" Marth questioned, starting to get that sinking sensation he had gotten when he had agreed to the water mages' adventure.

"W-well, least time, like, I ever heard that dreadful place in a sentence was when a single fire mage, or should I say, like, a total PYROMANIAC, he, well, destroyed the whole city!" Zelda responded, turning a lovely sheet white color.

"Oh. That sucks. I was sent to retrieve the fire mage, so that he could-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Y-YOU, YOU....MONSTER!!!! OUT OF MY CASTLE THIS INSTANT!!!!!" Zelda yelled, suddenly calling all of her guards.

* * *

'I've never been so embarrased in my whole life!' thought Marth, as he staggered into Kokiri Forest. Without even realizing it, he had entered the lost woods, and if any of you people remember entering the lost woods for the first time, then picture Marth walking through there!

'What is up with this forest! How many times am I going to end up in this same spot!' Marth continued to walk for hours, and hours, until, he noticed something strange. Almost like, music echoing through the forest. He didn't know why, but the strange, lilting music was, if anything, enchanting. (no, its not Saria's song)

* * *

Roy's POV

* * *

Despite what I have done to my country, I feel no guilt whatsoever. Why should I? Everyone there refused to accept me because of my fire skills. So, I proved to them how mighty my fire can be. That's right, MY fire. I own it, no one can take it from me! 

Although, the reason they probably hated me was because of, what they called, a problem. I mean, what's so bad about the fact that I don't see what makes women so attractive. But, it was probably just a reflex, but after I started to see princes from other kingdoms...I found myself attracted to them, and they didn't find this too appealing. So, now that I was alone, it was much easier to live in this forest.

There was an evil enchantress who loved to slay men that followed her songs living here as well. I'm glad that we settled down to the fact that we will just stay out of each others way, and.... Wait, is that a guy? In this forest that used to stand for peace? I need to help him! Who knows, maybe he'll actually like me!

* * *

Marth's POV

* * *

As I approached the causer of this beautiful music, I noticed two things. One, there was bones everywhere, and she seemed to be gnawing on another one. Two, she was very beautiful, and when she turned her emereald eyes to me, I realized what she was. Far too late. An enchantress is impossible to escape once they gaze into your eyes. I stood there, transfixed to the very spot. She stood up and started to walk up to me. Now, as the music ended, I finally could run away. I turned away and took off into the woods. I was, for once, overjoyed at how hard I had trained myself in speed instead of strength. 

I glanced back while running. She was long gone. WHAM!! I fell right on my butt, and glanced up. I saw a teenager, probably not much younger than me, with pure sapphire eyes and auburn hair, which, if I might add, looked like it had never seen a comb in its whole life. However, I was taken aback at how cute he was. I had always been cruel to anyone who tried to get me to like them, but this, child could win me over without saying anything! what really scared me, was the fact that this person I had fallen head-over-heels for, was a guy! I knew I was gay, but he took the cake! The very sight of him alone was enough to make me long to lean forward and, well, kiss him.

* * *

Roy's POV.....again

* * *

As I looked down at this cobalt haired man, I began to wonder if he was still in a trance. I had never seen such a lovesick look on anyones face.

I finally got my courage up and said,"Hey, are you alright? I mean, she didn't hurt you, did she?"

"Well, no. But, I, was, wondering, do you think you could help me?" He questioned.

"Yeah! I mean, sure, I guess I could help you. Hey, what's your name?" I pressed, trying not to seem too eager to know him. That might scare him.

"My name is Prince Marth Lowell of Altea, and I need to find someone from Pharae Principality."

Uh-oh, he's loking for someone from Pharae. If I tell him I destroyed it, he'll take off. What was I thinking! Scince he's a prince, he'll be snotty, stuck-up, and full of it!

So, I decided to lie, and told him,"I know someone from pharae, he can help you!"

"You'll do this for me? Thank you!" He said. I noticed one more thing. He was blushing. Badly.

"Why are you blushing? Is there something on my face?"

"Um, I, uh, well...I, I think, that, I have a ....crush.....on you," Marth managed to stutter out.

* * *

Alright, I'm going to end here! Stay good to yourself, and be true to your buddies. 


	3. ok, prepare for disturbing thoughts

Disclaimer:Get over it, if I owned anything, I wouldn't be here writing this, ne?  
  
Notes: Wow. I seriously started out rough with xan-vallen. No problems, though, I'm over it, and I hope we get along better. Don't try to be formal, 'cause I'm just crazy and immature, so you confuse me when you do that . Kristi Carlson Fernandez (did I spell it right) I guess we are in the same boat, but I'm still shocked that nearly everyone reading this seems insane! Not that I mind .Yes, I AM a Marth/Roy fan, as they make an adorable couple, Marth/Samus is my second fave, because the other girls seem WAY too girly and sissy-like. Foxey, I'm glad you like it . To everyone else who read (Hey, I can't help it if I can't remember ya' so sorry) thank you for reviewing and I'm glad you liked it. Um sweatdrop that one who went insane about Marth longing for Roy... Yay! I'm not the only crazy sugar-high person here!  
  
Anyway, on with the story.

* * *

Roy's POV

* * *

I was so shocked, that I asked him to repeat what he had just said.

"You heard me," was his cold, yet friendly (o.o) response.

I had heard of this before. A prince is supposed to have no emotions and attack others' hearts. i wasn't going to fall for it. Time for some reverse-psychology!

"Haha! That means you're gay! What a freak!" was my bitter response. In return, though, I didn't get the response I had expected.

Far from it.

He broke down and started sobbing, muttering that he thought I would understand. I felt awful for doing this to him, but I didn't want to fall prey to him.

"We can still be friends, right?"

He nods, trying desperately to wipe away his tears. As far as he was concerned, they were going to be severely uncomfortable around each other.

* * *

Marth and Roy traveled out of Kokiri Forest (somehow) and headed towards the gerudo fortress. Marth said that this was how he had gotten here, and that he hoped that he would never have to meet that awful princess ever again.

As they headed toward gerudo fortress, they saw a mysterious, black rider galloping towards them. At first glance, they thought it was a gerudo thief in all of her glory. They were partially right. the rider was none other than Gannondorf! He rode to them and stopped abruptly. Gannon hadn't ever seen these two warriors here before and he suspected that they didn't know who he was. He had recieved an invitation from some guy named Maric. It had read something along the lines of this:

'You have been summoned to help revive all of the dead beasts that exist in Altea and Hyrule, ney, the universe! We require a fire mage in order to continue, as that is the only part we are missing. We sent the Prince of altea to find him, but scince he hasn't returned yet, we are sending you after him. the prince has blue hair, blue eyes, wears a cape, has a sword, and wears a girly tiara (A.N:I have the Fire Emblem movie, and in the beginning his sister gave it to him before saving him and his loyal warrior Jaigen). The boy you are looking for has spiky red hair, blue eyes, and answers to the name Roy. We don't know that much about him, except that he could be evil from destroying his home, Pharae, so we suspect that he is perfect for the job. bring them both back, as I personally know that Prince Marth will get in the way.  
Maric'

Gannondorf glanced at the note, and then at the two boys. He smiled, knowing that if he brought these two to Maric, he would have endless amounts of money and even more power.

"You poor boys. Here, let me help you through the desert,"Gannondorf smirked as they both nodded and answered politely. He summoned a gerudo and commanded her to bring two horses as the travel would be long on foot.

'yeah, no kidding' Marth thought.'Too bad no one told me just HOW long it would take'

Roy glanced over at Marth. He was starting to regret his actions earlier as Marth was completely ignoring him. Marth could feel someone staring at him and glanced over at Roy. He blushed and quickly turned away. Marth asked him if everything was okay, but he didn't respond. He looked up at Gannon and asked if they could stop somewhere after nightfall.

Gannon, although he despised being nice, politely responded by saying,"Sure, we don't want to be too tired, now do we?". Surprisingly, they agreed and collapsed right where they were.

* * *

Later.....night time? Aw, heck, why not!

* * *

Marth and Roy were all alone. Gannon had gone off into the woods(In the DESERT?!)for who knows what reason, which left Marth to be forced to stare at Roys' sleeping form. Marth couldn't help himself, but soon his hand was lingering just above Roys' face. He was hesitant, but he started to gently stroke the young boys face.

Unfortunately for Marth, Roy was a very light sleeper, and he almost instantly woke up. He could feel a cold, soft hand against his face, and, without realizing it, decided it was time to tell Marth the truth. ALL of the truth.  
"Marth, I have something important to tell you"

* * *

Roys' POV

* * *

Okay, he took most of the information pretty well. I'm glad that I finally got up the courage to tell him how I really feel, and that I told him about me destroying Pharae, which seemed to satisfy him. However, when he asked if I was a hero or not, I was hesitant, because I myself did not know. Maybe I was a hero, I mean, I had saved so many people from certain doom. But that was years ago.

Mere weeks ago I had found myself destroying Pharae, burning it to the ground. Now, he seemed frightened of me. If I was sent to help to stop Medius from being revived, how could I be evil? Was something amiss? Either way, we needed to find Gannondorf, as we really needed to continue, as the desert can get intensely hot sometimes.

However, Gannon had been gone for hours, and despite how evil and smelly he was, we couldn't just sit here waiting for the buzzards to get us.So we set on a mission to find him.

* * *

Alright, this isn't woods anymore, it's an OASIS!

* * *

They were getting quite tired of searching for him, but just as soon as they were about to give up, they heard his ragged voice. They had to really listen for him, just because they were curious.

"I am a good villian. I am a good villian. I am a good villian," Gannon mused, while gently stroking a small, very ratty looking blanket.

Marth, although very serious looking, couldn't hold back when he saw what was going on. He fell over rolling around laughing.

Roy was curious, so he glanced over. He was holding back laughter until there were tears in is eyes, for what he saw before him was Gannondorf, laying on his side, in teddy bear boxers, stroking a black cloth, and sucking his thumb.

Gannon heard the laughter and almost instantly leapt up, whirling around on one foot, and then he was almost brought to tears. Marth and Roy were laughing so hard at him.

"P-please don't laugh a-at me,"Gannon stuttered, placing the blanket over his head. Roy couldn't help himself anymore and fell on his rump and started cracking up.

"My sides!" Marth shouted out, practically trembling from laughter,"Stop, you're killing me!"

Gannondorf ran into the forest(!) crying his head off, and was never seen again.

* * *

Anyway, the two boys were starting to panic, because now they were all alone in the desert without a guide. Marth was especially panicky because he had a crush on Roy, and being alone in a desert with the person you love can be dangerous.

However, Roy wasn't any better off. Roy was getting one of his crazy sensations to burn something to pieces. So far, he hadn't seen anything, and he wasn't going to hurt Marth.

* * *

Okay, I'm done writing for now.  
Either way, I hope everyone liked this akward chapter. Gannondorf didn't survive being with those two very long, now did he? 


	4. this is weird

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM or Fire Emblem OR Yu-gi-oh. I own a zoid model that I painted because it is customary, but that's besides the point!  
  
Notes: AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!! I HATE MATH!! WHY!!! Um.... heh heh, I've lost it . Math caught up with me, and I had two reports as well as an I-search to do. On the bad effects of video games! I'm gonna be sick... I finished them, got an okay grade, then remembered this story. If only I had thought of my over-obsessed Math teacher who loves apples. Heh, she LOOKS like an apple o.O. Wow, I didn't know that Thias was Marth-Roy fan... I love self insertions!  
  
Xan-vallen: You are right. I don't have a very large brain, so formality confuses and scares me. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Hot Chica: You changed your name? It's way easier to spell than your real name!I'm just helping others, they normally don't know, so, it's okay! But if someone annoys you by saying something trivial about your story, I'll help, k? Random blue haired guy sent me an e-mail and I'll probably write his fic once my homework is done crushing me.  
  
marth-roy fan: ; right. This chapter is very interesting.  
  
I guess this is a little akward and rather random for a story... Wait... I forget someone, I know I did...  
  
Foxey: I can't remember if you reviewed again or not... hold on...well, I'm glad you like(d)!  
  
Dark Comet: Yes, you are crazy, just like me when I eat the sugar bowl!(twice a day, I'm afraid)Yes, poor Gannondorf. He just needed some time alone to express his true feelings!  
  
Anyway, on with da' fic!

* * *

Marths' POV

* * *

Three days. It's been three days since me and Roy last saw any sign of life. I guess that includes Gannondorf... but, he doesn't seem to be around anymore. I sort of pity him for what we did. I guess we were both pretty harsh. Even I have a soft side that I wish not to speak of. But, we are still wandering in this mysterious desert storm. I want to speak to Roy, but how can I? I'm afraid that I might... do something I'll regret. I doubt that he feels the same. He probably thinks that scince I'm a prince he must do what I wish, but I've never wished to hurt anyone before, and whenever I am forced to fight, I always try to find an alternative.  
  
I wish he knew...

* * *

Roys' POV

* * *

He's been staring at me all night. I wish he would stop staring at me. Suddenly, as if my wish was granted, his head turned sharply in the opposite direction. he inhaled sharply and rose one hand up slowly. I followed his terrified hand (an: terrified hand? WHAT am I smoking?!) and saw a strange figure. As the figure came closer, I saw why he was so frightened. Directly in front of us, was none other than Gannondorf. His eyes were glowing blue, and he rose his triforce in the sky and turned into the final boss in Ocarina of Time(except wearing large teddy bear boxers, which severely lessens the evilness of the situation.

"For what you have done, neither of you shall live!" bellowed Gannon,"Prepare to die!"

Gannon charged at us, and me, being an idiot, charged at him. He was bigger, stronger, and smarter. Marth was staring in horror as Gannon took me and my blade and lifted me up into the sky. I didn't know what he was doing until he opened his huge mouth, and then I started to scream and cry for help.  
  
Marth watched in horror as Gannon swallowed Roy whole. Marth decided to do the bright thing, and get into a defensive position. After all, any sensible swordsman wouldn't want to run blindly at a cannibal. Gannon stomped over to Marth, a menacing grin on his face. Marth knew this wasn't a good time, but an idea had crossed into his mind, and he smirked back.  
"Hey Gannon, I hope you hold your blankie nice and close tonight!"  
  
"Why you little... I'll make you pay for that!" Gannon roared. Gannon brought his huge rusted blade forward and prepared to kill Marth, when suddenly he stopped. The strange look on Gannondorfs' face insured that swallowing a pyromaniac equipped with a sword was not a smart thing to do. Gannon roared in pain as Roy cut through his back(eewwww!). Roy fell to the ground, gasping for air. Marth ignored the disgusting remains of Gannondorf and ran over to Roy.

"Are you okay?" asked Marth.

"Gee, I just got swallowed whole by a freak and almost got digested. Do I LOOK okay to you!?" Roy screeched.

"Um, excuse me,"said a voice,"do you two need some help? you can stay at my house maybe, if you want to..." Her voice trailed off, as she saw that these two looked really awful. She looked at Marth, who had blood all over himself, and then at Roy, who had a strange greenish fluid on some parts of him that was making a hissing sound, suggesting that it was acidic.

"Um... my home is nearby, and you two look like you need a bath..." she suddenly giggles and bats her eyelashes at Roy. "My name is Thais, what is yours?"

"Roy. Jus' call me Roy."

* * *

two hours later

* * *

Marth had just finished taking his bath after Roy had, when he heard the two talking. he was just plain upset about how Roy was flirting with Thais and vice versa. Marth felt almost invisible in this house, and nobody seemed to care. Thais hadn't even asked him what his name was, let alone said hi to him.  
  
Roy giggled as Thais stroked his spiky hair. So far, he had absolutely enjoyed this stay. it didn't even occur to him that Marth even existed until he walked right past them. Roy watched as Marth curled up on the couch nearby and fell asleep. It was almost like they hadn't known anyone else was in the room. Roy was downcast, but, who cared about Marth? Thais was so much more friendly than Marth could ever be.  
  
Thais giggled. She loved it when Roy was deep in thought. It made him look so very cute. Still, what could she do to tell that other guy? How could she bring this up to him? 'Hi, I just met your friend and I love him so bad and I'm sleeping with him, so, how about you just leave, seeing as how you don't have a purpose here?' That was the nicest way to bring this up to the teal haired man, she was currently having a good time with Roy, her rational thoughts were jumbled up. Roy somehow sensed she was upset.

"Are you alright, love?" Roy questioned.

"I'm fine, just thinking," she replied.

"Okay then," he replied, grinning ear to ear.

Marth sighed and layed his head down on the small pillow Thais had given him. She seemed to despise him. He knew that no one could absolutely loathe someone at first sight, so he must have met her from somewhere before. He couldn't recall, so he decided to take a stroll through the forest that was by the desert they had just been in(there, I explained where they are, sorta ).

* * *

The forest itself seemed to hate him, almost every branch looked like it was rushing away from him. He looked around. Maybe this walk hadn't been such a good idea after all. He continued his walk until the sun started to rise. "Ah," he murmured. He suddenly clutched his head and sank to the ground. If anyone had seen him, they would have thought he was having a mental breakdown. He wasn't. He was having an emotional breakdown. "Why doesn't anyone like me?" he sobbed. He rubbed his temples and sobbed until he fell asleep.

* * *

Roys' POV

* * *

Marth had been gone for way too long. He left practically yesterday! I had already told Thais about how I felt, and she hissed at me, claiming that if I was gay, I wouldn't be accepted by the world. I told her that it didn't matter to me, the whole world couldn't stop me from being with Marth. She looked upset, but she nodded and smiled. I was confused, but then she said," I'm sorry for testing your friendship with him, but, I wanted to make sure you wanted him for his heart, not his money and land." She bowed and disappeared. I would run away screaming, but now was not the time. Marth could be in trouble!  
  
I was racing through the forest as fast as I could run. Wherever Marth had gotten to, I was more than ready to travel anywhere to find him. That's when I found him. He was curled up in a little ball, trembling and murmering something about the end of the world and whatnot. He looked absolutely pathetic! I felt bad for him, but how was I supposed to help him? He probably thinks I hate him. Or maybe he knew someone before me that he loved...I hope that isn't the case.

* * *

(A.N:this part is weird, don't ask me why I decided to do this)

* * *

Link walked through gerudo valley, he was certain he needed to see Nabooru about his nightmares. he was absolutely certain that little midgets who looked like him meant he was going crazy. He was even imagining one of these mini-hims walking next to him.  
  
"HEY!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! I THINK SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED!!!" Mini-Link yelled. He looked upset, but he kept walking right next to Link. suddenly, the foulest stench ever to exist reached the look-alikes noses.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!!!! WHAT IN DINS NAME IS THAT SMELL!!!" shouted Young-Link.  
  
"It smells like...rotten fish, with some old cheese, and some cow dung, mixed with a little bit of skunk fumes," Link explained, holding his nose,"And mind your mouth, mini-me!"  
  
Oh great, Link thought, now I've completely lost it!  
  
The two Hylians soon found the cause of the odor. What they saw, was Gannon, in all of his awful, foul glory. Or, what remained of Gannon. His back was slashed wide open, along with his stomach, Gannons' very stomach acids were eating through his body. This had to be the most disgusting thing Link had ever seen!  
  
Young Link walked over to the body, sniffed at the cut, then took his finger along the side of Gannons' stomach. (eeeew!)  
  
"Be careful," Link warned,"you don't know where that's been."  
  
"It's right here!" Young Link explained. He then carefully examined the blood on his finger. He then ate it(o.O).  
  
"Hmmmm, how interesting." Y.Link observed after swallowing the blood.  
  
"What, shy guy? Uh, I mean, mini-me?" Link called, while trying to ignore the disgusting-ness of this situation.  
  
"this isn't Gannons' blood!" He explained,"It appears to be a sixteen year olds blood, who was a red head."  
  
"Wow, how did you know he was a red head?" Link knew he was dreaming, so he figured he would just go along with it.  
  
"There's some locks of short, red hair over here."

* * *

Meanwhile...where I left evil little Maric...

* * *

"You'll need to tell me Prince Marths' weaknesses" Maric snarled,"Or, or"  
  
"Or what?" The girl murmered," I'll bitch-slap you if you try to hurt my ex-boyfriend!"  
  
"Fine, what is your name, sissy girl?" Maric questioned.  
  
she kicked him in the crotch and said,"Samus, my name is Samus"

* * *

I think I'll end here. I seriously need to finish my math homework. Scary, eh? I'm gonna add Samus in and probably remove 'da Yaoi or maybe I won't, I know! Review ta' tell me if I should make 'dis story a Marth/Roy or Marth/Samus see ya! 


	5. chap6 no longer

Disclaimer: I own squat.  
  
Notes: Methinks everyone believes I died or somethin'. I'm still here! (Unfortunately)  
  
Thank you to all who reviewed. Foxey reviewed for 2 chappies an' seems overjoyed that humor is added and there are more chappies. Thais and Kristi have been fighting over whether to keep 'da yaoi or kill it. Errr... Dark Comet voted both ways. So... the score is 3/2, with yaoi victorious! Of course, knowing my one track mind, I might change it, you never know!  
  
Now, on to the story!

* * *

Maric lay there, mumbling incoherent curse words in falsetto as well as saying something close to 'mommy' every now and then. Samus quickly took her helmet and placed it on her head. She laughed and walked away, still remembering what got her here...

* * *

FLASHBACK!! WEIRD SCI-FI!! UH...SLIGHT TAKE OFF OF METROID PRIME!!! (a.n; I don't own metroid prime!)

* * *

Samus chased after the space pirate vessel, yelling for them to give it up. Five days, five whole days of chasing one ship. They just wouldn't give up. She could bet they had stolen another metroid. She hated having to constantly stop space pirates from using a metroid for evil. Still, the thrill of the hunt was always worth it. Including lifting up their captain and taking off her helmet, letting him know he got beaten by a woman! She grinned, when she saw the strangest planet out of the corner of her eye. It seemed to be split into several different regions.  
Her split-second mistake was her doom.  
  
The space pirates whirled around and shot her ship. She remembered crashing into a far away land mass on the awkward planet. It sorta reminded her of Tallon IV, except this one looked forboding. Well, more forboding than giant, monstrous insects attacking you!  
  
She crawled out of her destroyed space ship and immediately found some type of weapon near her throat. Great, just perfect. She allowed her visor to scan the foreign weapon. 'Scan complete. Weapon: Falchion. Weapon Type: Magical Sword. This sacred weapon is used by descendants of Anri. It has many different uses and changes to suit its' holder. The recent holder is Prince Marth Lowell of Altea, a kingdom from Akanea Continent. It has a large variety of strengths. Its' weakness changes for each owner.' Well, so what! This was frustrating!  
  
"Hey!" Samus shouted," Put that weapon down, I ain't yer' enemy!" Oh brother, she thought. Yeah, some prince will think I'm good now.  
  
However, he apparently heard the hint of feminine in the bounty hunters' voice, and pulled the weapon away. He sheathed Falchion and held out his hand.  
  
"Come, I will help you," he said nonchalantly. Weird space craft crashing down and robots with a girlish tone must be normal for him.  
  
"Welcome to my secret," he whispered," My temple, my hidden palace," He waved a hand to the large scriptures on the walls and many doors. Samus was shocked. How some medieval pretty boy discovered an ancient chozo temple was beyond her, but...

* * *

"EXCUSE ME!!"  
  
"Wha?"  
  
Samus glanced down and saw a shrimp on the ground. She must've run into him when she was reminiscing.  
  
"I'm really sorry, sir, um, what's yer' name?" Samus was feeling really stupid, 'cause she was calling some runt sir.  
  
"My name's Link," He stated flatly.  
  
Suddenly, another guy ran up. Samus' jaw dropped as she saw double, well, almost double. The one who almost got flattened by her was much shorter than this new guy.  
  
"Hey, you found my chibi! Wait, what the HELL are you!!?? I MUST be dreaming!!" The big-Link broke down crying, the much smaller Link comforting him.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another spot in Gerudo Desert (sheesh, who knew it was so big)

* * *

Marth was still curled up in a tiny ball, but now you could actually understand some of what he said.  
  
"Math, die, evil, cold, cruel, Medius, blackness, purple monkeys, Maric, Roy, why d'you hate me so?" I take that back, he's still a confusing weirdo  
  
"I don't hate you Marth, I really don't," Roy murmured. Roy tried to get Marth to move, but he just wouldn't budge. He heard someone laughing in the distance.  
  
"C'mon Marth! I don't wanna get eaten by another Gerudo! GET UP!!" Roy, being a pyromaniac, decided it was time to get mad. His hands started to glow with flaming energy.  
  
"YOU ASKED FOR IT, TIARA BRAT!!"  
  
"YOW! ITTAI!! PAIN!! HOT!! CHICKEN!!" Roy sat back, an amused look on his face. Marth was running in circles, and he was on fire. Roy, unfortunately, didn't even bother to think about the fact that he didn't know how to put the flames.  
  
Marth ran off and leapt into a small pool of water. He was trembling and whimpering from the severe burning sensation. Roy had more important matters to attend to, however.  
  
Standing directly in front of him were three people. Two were hylian bishounens that were almost identical, except for about three feet in height difference. The other was some type of strange beast that was orange and red. Instead of a face, it had some sort of transluscent green glass on its' face. He was both confused and frightened.  
  
"Hi! My name's Link! This here is Mini-me, and this is Samus!" The tall elf explained, "We're lookin' for a Prince!"  
  
"And who is this prince?" Roy hoped they didn't mean Marth, he didn't trust Samus.  
  
"Prince Marth (Samus stiffens) he upsetted my girl, Zellie, and I want to kick his ass!" Link explained, his eyes narrowing in displeasure.  
  
"Um, I'm sure he didn't mean to, I mean, he's really nice, just mentally unstable, that's all!" Roy yelped. However, he didn't notice that Samus was nodding in approval.

* * *

Heh I'm gonna end it here. I just can't think straight, these tiny chappies must be murder! Don't worry though! 


	6. Mayhem

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM  
  
Notes: I haven't been able to update 'cause of my Computer. Meh... I don't know who reviewed, so I'll just say Thankee if you did!  
  
Warning: i cannot remember anything I wanted to add in, so I'm just gonna wing it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Mushroom Kingdom is really big. Even if you are a giant Koopa with spikes. bowser had recieved a letter from some guy named Maric. If he proceeded to deliver to him two teenage idiots by the names of Marth and Roy, he would get full funding for all of his evil projects. Now that's a deal!   
  
"HELP!!! MARIO, SAVE ME!!!!"  
  
Bowser glanced up and took off his reading glasses. If he was going to kidnap two more people, he'd have to find a place to keep Princess Peach so Mario couldn't come and trash his home.  
  
Bowser grinned.  
  
"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"   
  
"I knew I could throw good!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Roy was arguing with Link. It was quite obvious that both wanted to stick to their side of the story.   
  
"Look! Zel' is very wise, and I know that few can upset her!"  
  
Roy couldn't counter that....  
  
"That may be true, but Marth must have been in contact with the chozo ghosts. They are far wiser than this 'Zellie'."  
  
Roy smiled," Thanks Samus! But what's a chozo ghost?"  
  
" Well, a chozo ghost is--  
  
"AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"  
  
"WHAT THE!"   
  
Link, Roy, and Samus stared in shock at the newcomer. The lady was wearing a large pink dress, and looked obnoxious and annoying. Link, being rather unintelligent, rushed to her side.  
  
"Are you alright?" He questioned. Peach sniffled delicately.  
  
"i'll be fine, thank you for asking"  
  
"I wasn't talking to you! You're sitting on Mini-me!"  
  
Marth watched with curiosity at the antics of the five completely different people. As far as he was concerned, he was unwanted. His whole body still ached from being set on fire, and he wasn't so sure Samus or Link would be happy to see him....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile, Maric was pacing in....wherever he is, growing quite frustrated with how long it was taking to get the last element mage he required to complete his evil scheme. Still, for what he was going to do, he was more than patient. With them all together, he could summon every evil doer who ever drew breath in the universe! Then he could conquer Altea! Wait a minute, why just Altea? Yes, he would be the ruler of everything!  
  
The other mages were growing tired of waiting, too. In unrivaled fury, the thunder mage stood up, and stormed out of...wherever they are. Maric didn't stop him, though. All he could think of was how to get bait so that Roy would come to him....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Peach was clearly upset.  
  
"So, what you're trying to tell us is that you were kidnapped by a turtle, who then proceeded to read a letter, and then he chucked you out of a window?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
"Okay then..." Roy sat back. He thought his story was confusing. But, an evil turtle?  
  
Link was feeling downcast. This just wasn't his day. First, Zelda gets upset and sends him after someone. Then, he gets a clone. Now, he's met up with a talking metal suit, a pyro, and a princess who gets captured by a turtle. He just knew that leaving Kokiri forest was a mistake!  
  
Samus was a little angry. Her missle supply was drained. She only had her power beam. She was in her varia suit. At least she still had her power bomb.... Suddenly, she heard something move in a nearby tree. She got into morph ball mode, rolled over, and planted a power bomb. Unfortunately, the power bomb was to powerful, and the tree blew up.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" She unrolled and watched as Marth flew out of the exploding foliage and tumbled down in front of Link and Peach.  
  
"Wow!" Peach said(oh boy)"He's cute!"  
  
"Hey!" Link said," That's the idiot who made Zellie upset!"  
  
"Yeah! What big me said!"  
  
"Hey! Don't hurt him!"  
  
"Yeah! What robo-girl said!"  
  
"Why you!"  
  
Marth sat back and watched as everyone got into a large brawl over what to do with him. He was amused at first, but suddenly someones arm shot out and dragged him into the melee. Soon, everyone was exausted and gave up. however, poor Marth must be a magnet to attacks. He'd been hit by every attack that everyone had used, including his own. Talk about disoriented.   
  
"BWAHAHAHA!!!!"  
  
"What was that?!" Young Link, even though he would grow up to be the hero of time, was not very brave, and evil laughter scared him the most.  
  
"T-that w-was b-bowser!" Peach screamed and ran into the desert....and straight into Bowser.  
  
Bowser, on the other hand, felt like he needed a vacation, 'cause as soon as she ran into him, she took out her frying pan, and WHAM! He hated his life. She lifted the frying pan to finish him off, when a bolt of lightning grabbed the frying pan. she watched in shock as the bolt returned to Ganray, the Thunder mage. He rushed over to her, surprising villain and princess alike.   
  
"Where is Roy?" He spits when he talks, spitting on her face.  
  
She was too terrified to argue," In there!" She pointed towards the oasis/forest that the motley crew were in.  
  
He dropped her, and charged straight into the forest. He quickly caught sight of Roy and the gang. He used an energy ball and trapped Roy, Link, Young Link, and Marth in the energy ball. He then flew up into the sky, and took off towards Altea.   
  
Samus watched in shock as they flew off. Bowser and Peach quickly came over to her. She looked at them, and they looked back. Bowser may be evil, but he wasn't about to let someone else steal the glory! She that they would need a way to fly after them quickly. She sighed. She didn't like it, but she needed to ask for help. And the help she was going to ask for was help she had desperately hoped she could go without.  
  
"Hi, I would like to make a collect call. Yes. No, the location is Corneria. I need to speak to Fox Mcloud"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hmmmm......I dunno wot to right. Guess I'll stop here. Erm, so much for getting the chapters up faster....I'll try to get another chapter up soon. R&R please! 


	7. and then some more mayhem

Disclaimer: I don't own SSBM. If I did, I'd be rich. I'd also be Japanese most likely.  
  
Notes: I'm gonna update many chapters at once. Maybe I'll even type up the whole story. I'm grounded. I can't get on the net. And I'm currently breaking in to my own computer. This just ain't right.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ring Ring. Ring Ring.  
  
"I got it!"  
  
"No, I got it!"  
  
Falco sighed. Deep down inside, Slippy and Fox were really idiots. He walked over to the phone. After a moment, he turned to Fox.  
  
"Hey, Fox! It's for you!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Samus braced herself. She really hated how Fox acted. He seemed so brave and noble when he's on duty. But when he's got nothing to do, he's a furry jerk. Still, his Great Fox could get them to any location in a matter of minutes. Anyway, she didn't want that huge koopa stinking up her bounty ship.  
  
" 'Ello?"  
  
"Hey Fox....Um.....I was wondering if...."  
  
"If what? You think I can't remember what happened last time you asked for help? My ship was full of dead space pirates for three months! The place reeked! And, when we ran outta fuel, you got on your ship and ditched us!"  
  
"Yeah.....so?"  
  
"SO! That's all you can say!?!" (Peach and Bowser sweat drop)  
  
"Look, if you don't help us, a lot of really bad things will happen!"  
  
"Really? Good, I'm just itching to test out my new rapid fire blaster!"  
  
"um.....you'll be able to use it here"  
  
"So what?"  
  
"I'll....I'll pay you!"  
  
"..........deal"  
  
"Okay, I need you to track this call, so that you can find where we are. I'll give you directions from there."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
5 minutes later  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"No"  
  
"But-"  
  
"NO! LIZARD MAN STAYS!"  
  
"I'll pay you!"  
  
"....deal"  
  
Samus sat down next to Fox, watching as Peach tried to understand why she couldn't drive. Bowser...he couldn't get through the door, so they opened up the docking bay and he just had to hold onto an Arwing for dear life. Samus was remembering how strange Marth had been acting, and she prayed that he didn't turn into a zombie.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sooooo...... how does it feel, Princy Prick, tell me how it feels to be tricked by an old guy!"  
  
"........"  
  
"......Don't feel bad, Marie, he's always like this nowadays" Roy watched Marth, who was playing with a yarn ball like a catnipped kitten.  
  
"IT'S MARIC!!"  
  
"Well, your writings too fancy! It looked like an E to me"  
  
Link had fainted. Young link was observing what was before them. Many many dead bodies. But not just ordinary dead bodies, oh no. They were Ganon, Medius, Metroid Prime, about a thousand dead space pirates, goombas and shy guys, redeads, basic soldiers, Roy's dad(?), toads(?),erm, who knows who's body that is, dark link, majora,awkward little imps with pitchforks,and so on.   
  
"HAHAHA!! I shall revive all of these villains with the power of Mages! How do you feel about that, you blue fuzz ball!?" Maric gazed around. He couldn't see Marth. He turned around and fell. Marth was putting on a space pirate outfit and testing out the laser while tearing off the blade and replacing it with his sword. He looked rather comical....but deadly nonetheless.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Fox sighed. He loved piloting the Great Fox, no matter how junky it had become. He sometimes dreamt of how his life would be if he had been born a human. Samus would've liked him. He just acted dumb to hide how sad he was. He was grieving over his father, and now Samus hated him because of how.......fuzzy he was. He couldn't help it, at least he could talk.  
  
"We're almost there Samus."   
  
"Good, I can't wait to get out of this dump"  
  
He winced at her cruelty and gently pressed the intercom.  
  
"Bowser, we're almost there.....Bowser?" All Fox could do was panic. He could hear strange, giggly growls as the arwing was loaded up. He could hear the engine whirring as the docking bay opened up.  
  
"Try to take my villaining job, will you? I'll blow ya all to hell!"  
  
"HEY! THAT'S MY ONLY ARWING!! CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME!!!???"  
  
Soon, Bowser had shot off toward the building containing the trapped heroes. Fox leaned back. There wasn't much he could do now....and there goes the fuel....  
  
"Ummm.....Sam, I think we ran outta gas....and power..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh mighty shadows of death and destruction, hear my cry! Revive Thy Villains And Destroy Altea!"  
  
Roy gasped and fell to the ground weak from the rants magic eating powers. Young Link was backing towards the exit, dragging Link with him. Marth was running around in the Space Pirate suit, shouting incoherent stupidity.   
  
The villains began to awaken. The unknown body turned out to be Mr. Game and Watch.  
  
"What the Hell is THAT!!" All heroes shouted.  
  
"Um, I dunno how it got in there..." Maric whipped out a list, he looked back at Mr.G&W, then shrugged and started laughing.  
  
"Beep beep.....BEEP BE-beep!" The 2d nuisance said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Uh, sorry for not updating in forever. My Grandpa died and it crushed me, so I didn't really have the want to continue either story. Ah, screw it all. I'll try to update this weekend. 


	8. body switch

Notes: Hum....people are strange. Ah well, I worry not. A review a chappie makes the author happy!   
  
Thais: Er, no, I'm not Zee....I'm a disgruntled half crazy American who lives for the laughs!  
  
Er......how to start this chapter....oh yes....I know!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wait'l I get my hands on that arrogant blue-haired snot-nosed cross-eyed Marth!!" Zelda was literally stomping through the desert, each step causing the ground to shake. She was following a trail of blood and stomach acids, which had been left from Marics' cronies carrying Ganons' carcass to the temple.  
  
"I'll....I'll- WHAT THE!!"  
  
She had to hit the sand as the Great Fox narrowly missed sidewsiping her. She temporarily forgot about Revenge on Marth to go see if the 'Metal Bird' was okay.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Figures. A junky run down ship can barely hold enough fuel to go two lightyears," Samus then kicked the side of the once proud ship to prove her point.  
  
Fox was biting his lip to hold back tears. He only wanted someone to care for him, but no one seemed to care if he was still breathing. He looked up and saw a figure running towards them waving its' arms and shouting. Samus used her visor to get a close up and murmered," A single space-pirate."  
  
"ROOOAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!" To Marth, none of what was happening was fair. He barely survived the fight against Medius, he had just rebuilt Altea, and now this whole mess. He let out another roar. He could not understand why, just that when he put on the alien armor, he became the alien. He hated it. He smelled, was gruesome, had no hair, was greenish-blackish, and could not speak in any sensible language. At least he could get help from Samus.... 'Wait a moment,' he thought,'If I'm in a body that isn't mine, a space pirates' body at that, then.....oh shit'.  
  
"DIE YOU PIRATE SCUM!!" Samus wasted no time at all. she pounded the hell out of him, and then shot him into the sky. He was lucky.....sort of. Instead of falling into impending doom, he ran into Bowsers' Arwing, and clung to one of the wings.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Zelda ran toward them,shouting,"Oh Migolly gosh!(1)Are you all alright?"  
  
Samus turned towards Zelda. Finally feeling safe, Samus removed her helmet.(2) She looked at the princess and nodded.   
  
"All is well"  
  
"I'm trying to find this guy by the name of Marth"  
  
"Really? That's what I'm trying to do!"  
  
"Well then, let's join forces in this quest for Marth!"  
  
The two shook hands, not knowing that their purposes for finding the disgruntled man were completely different.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Irvine the Space Pirate awoke to a strange sight. For starters, he was in a forest, in a desert. He was naked. But the big shocker was that he wasn't in his own body! He almost shouted, then stopped, and decided to admire his new body. The downfall was that he felt much weaker, but now he was attractive! He had blue fur on his head, and had pale, smooth skin that felt nice to touch.   
  
"Well, well, I think I could learn to like this body"  
  
  
  
He looked up to find two identical men walking towards him shouting 'Marth'.  
  
Interesting.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
hmmm.....I'll end here.  
  
(1): I am completely sorry about Zelda being an ass, really, I am. She is one of my favorite characters.  
  
(2): Samus feels insecure about taking her helmet off in this story, and only feels safe around people she knows when she is helmetless and....exposed.  
  
And now for my shout out to the rude and uncouth:  
  
Apparently, I did some form of bad stuff with that other story I wrote, so I deleted it. But now, the website I allegedly got it from, does not appear to exist.....so I deleted it for nothing. The coward who sent me the review left no way of finding him/her, so I have no way of badgering...so now I'm pissed. And he even got a lacky to review, too. 


	9. Irvine the Freak

**No reviews. Oh dear. Oh well, I still want to finish this story before I forget about it...again. Oh wait, I just did!**

Link and Young Link found quite the shocking sight in the forest. Marth was sitting there, an evil smirk on his face, making strange growl like sounds that you would expect an alien to make. But that wasn't the main problem.

"Err....Marth....You're naked," Young Link was staring at Marth, while Link was looking away and trying to find his smaller self's' eyes.

"Don't stare at him, you'll only encourage him to do this more often" Link said. His youthful clones' eye was visibly twitching.

"I...I'm...s...sorry, I had no...Choice on this whole thing," Marth said with a sly look and a pathetic stutter to his normal fast talking voice.

Pausing to comprehend what he meant, Link quickly whipped out his blue tunic that he kept in his...okay let's just say he keeps everything in his hat.

"Here, wear this...it should fit...just...OH FOR DINS SAKE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON MAN!" Link had looked down and seen more of Marth than he ever wanted to see.

Marth started to shiver. Well...he'd never really felt cold, seeing as how he was usually hunting down Samus or running from said bounty hunter (not much different than the real Marth) so, to him, he found the whole scenario fascinating. When he pulled the tunic on, Irvine realized that it was made of some scratchy material. _I felt better naked_, he thought. Or at least, he tried to think it. Instead, due to his lack of control over the new body, he found himself saying it out loud. To say the least, Link and Mini Link were extremely freaked out.

"Uh, Marth? That's just wrong." Young Link looked like he would faint, but he had the most control. Link _had _fainted.

Finally, after much difficulty and perverse attitudes, the trio set off. The links were keeping their distance from Marth, as now he was acting even worse. He was looking over his body and touching his skin in various locations, some more... disturbing than other places.

"Why did you freak out when you looked down, Big me? I mean, you've seen one of _those _before, right? You do _have _one, right?"

"That's not the problem. I didn't know he was..._gay_," Link started to shake uncontrollably," That man has NO self control, and no sense of decency!"

Irvine listened in to their hushed conversation. _Gay? What does that mean? Could they mean that I like guys? No, I am NOT gay! I am the top ranking official of my frigate and... IS THAT SAMUS!!_

The swordsman were approaching Great Fox and it's crew of friends and foes.

Zelda happened to spot Link and crew first. Samus spotted Marth, and Roy started running towards his love interest.

"MMMAAAARRRTTTHHH!!!!" Roy literally jumped on the confused space pirate and started kissing his cheek," I MISSED YOU!!"

Irvine suddenly screamed and threw Roy off of him," THAT IS WRONG!! MEN DO NOT KISS MEN!!"

_Wait a sec,_ Samus thought, _Marth is gay! I remember the day..._

**Samus' Memory**

She stared at Marth lovingly and removed her helmet. She had scrambled her voice so that he wouldn't know if she was male or female. Now that he knew, she saw disappointment in his azure eyes.

"Samus," he murmured," I'm gay."

**End Memory**

"Marth?" she asked," Are you gay?"

Irvine exploded," NO!! I AM NOT GAY!!"

Everyone gasped. Everyone being Link and Roy, but, you get the picture.

**Well, that's it for now. I think the people who normally review are gone... so maybe I should hook some new people. For some odd reason I can't use my normal splitting ability, so I will use bold to show splits and notes. **


	10. Some useless info and a slight problem

Reviews:

**Roy Lover:** Okay, I'm updating! Who knew my story was loved?

Well, here's the next chappie. Hope you people enjoy. And, if you're reading, but not leaving a review, you're making this story fall to the wayside. It makes me think no one likes it...or....maybe no one likes it but this one reviewer. Ah well, please one person, keep reviewing .

* * *

"No way you are straight, Marth!" Link shouted, "I saw...well...I saw...." he trailed off and looked away. No point in saying it to this idiot, especially in front of women and children...and Roy. 

Roy looked away and started to cry.

Samus lifted her arm cannon up and aimed it at 'Marth',"What did you do with the real Marth, you imposter?"

Zelda and Fox stared ahead blankly. Neither new what was going, or really wanted to know.

'Marth' tilted his head and laughed.

"Do you really want to hear what happened? Alright.......

_It started when I was chasing Samus in my own private ship. She landed on this odd planet and started to search for this 'Marth'. She continued her hunt and eventually did find him....though she did not kill him.....how odd. When all of you primitive beings started to fight, a stray missile came out of the melee and hit me, killing me."_

The motley crew looked at him, obviously confused.

"So then, you died? But how did you get here?" Peach had a different question.

"So then, you're not Marth?"

"Ahem, if you'd let me continue......

_For a little while, I had an out of body experience, floating around while watching my corpse slide to the ground...I saw some odd looking men grab my body and drag it to some small building...I followed. Shortly after, I saw you lot float over in a bubble and land. I was disgusted to see that my armor was being put on some blue headed freak, but I had no control over it. When I heard him say he was reviving all of the villains, I began to worry. This 'Marth' was technically in my body....what would happen? In the end, we switched bodies....so he's in my elegant space pirate body while I'm trapped in his own...."_

Everyone fell silent. After a few minutes of said silence, Link glared at Samus.

"Hey........didn't you _just _beat the crap out of a space pirate?"

"Yeah.......poor Marth....he got side swiped by an arwing....we have to find him!"

So, the people who had a vague idea of what was happening, which is everyone except Peach, began to walk into the desert, no real knowledge of where to go or what to do.

* * *

**Two hours later...**

* * *

"Big me, I have a question..."

"Yeah, what is it mini-me?"

".......What do you do if you have to pee but you're in the middle of the desert and there's no way to hide from the girls in your group?"

".........aw, aw! No way you have to go to the bathroom _now_!"

"......I do....."

"..........I have an idea....."

Link suddenly threw a deku nut as far as he could. The explosion and flash of light in the distance caught the attention of everyone in the group, causing them to wonder what it was and take a step towards it. Young Link grinned and quickly turned around, relieving himself.

"ARGH! THAT WRETCHED HERO OF TIME STILL FINDS ME!! EVEN AFTER I WAS REVIVED!!"

"THAT HURT ME EYES!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST VILLAIN WHEN I'M BLIND!!!"

"-random snarls that cannot be understood-"

_'Oh man,' _Link thought,'_Just my luck....I hit the place where the villains got revived....'_

Samus quickly motioned for everyone to get their weapons out. They still had the element of surprise, after all.

Peach ran after the group, shouting and waving her arms.

"HEY!!!!! YOU GUYS FORGOT ME!"

"So much for the element of surprise...." Samus whispered. They quickly ran towards the shouts of villainous misery, crying out various battle cries.

* * *

Ahem......that's it for now. . I enjoy writing this crap every now and then......

The entire idea for the second half of the chapter is to take things that you never hear about in video games, but you know they happen. How else did Link survive for _that _long without seeming to go to the bathroom? How else did the enemy always seem to find the heroes?

Ah well, see you all next update! Maybe....


End file.
